#incorrect Hawkeye

[floilee]

"Why do you ship-" That is exactly why.

[1luna1lovegood1]

Clint: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS? !

Natasha : so like, everything is the same as a kids' playground but bigger!

Clint : yeah, why don't we have those?!

Steve : they are called theme parks.

Clint: but you have to PAY for theme parks!

Steve: that's the adult part.

[incorectquoteswlw]

Yelena: I guess this is goodbye

Kate: What? Why is it goodbye?

Yelena: We must part ways, my love

Nat: I just asked you to help me carry dinner in

Yelena: The cruel twists of fate have pulled us apart

Kate, tears in her eyes: I can't live without you

Yelena: Be strong, we can be strong

Nat: Forget it, Clint come help me

Clint: Gladly, holy shit

[i-a-q]

Clint: So, what’s the weirdest thing Hydra ever made you do?

Bucky: You don’t want to know.

Clint: Now I really want to know.

Bucky: *sighing* I once stole a cake. Just to steal it. No reason. Just a cake.

Clint: *laughing* That’s… actually kind of amazing.

[societyfolklore]

Natasha: Why is there glitter everywhere? Clint: It’s festive. Natasha: It’s a mess. Clint: It’s both. I’m a man of balance.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

in the Avengers compound communal showers

Bucky: Everybody, bathroom now!

Clint: What, Bucky?

Bucky: Is somebody playing a joke on me? Honestly, why is my towel still damp?

Clint: 'Cause it's not your towel. It's my towel, Bucky.

Bucky: No, it's not your towel. Your towel's the red one.

Clint: I'll tell you this, pal: I've never used that. [points to red towel] I do use that one every single day. [points to blue towel]

Bucky: Oh, God...

Peter: [holding the blue towel] This towel's so warm and fluffy. It's like it's been in the sun forever.

Tony: [laughing] This means you two have been drying your junk with the same towel.

Natasha: Intimate.

Bucky: Are you out of your mind?!

Clint: What do you mean, am I...

Bucky: How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?

Clint: No, I don't wash the towel; the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?

Natasha: You never wash...?

Clint: You wash your towel?

Bucky: You never wash the towel?!

Clint: What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?

[rainysofsunshineao3]

Kate: I told Yelena their ears turn red when they lie.

Clint: Why'd you do that?

Kate: Just watch.

Kate: Yelena, babe, do you love me?

Yelena, covering her ears: NO!

[loislame84]

Kate: I’m asking for permission to date your sister.

Natasha: what is this? The dark ages? You know what, since you asked, no, you can’t. Beat me in a duel.

Yelena: do not let Kate Bishop handle a gun.

Natasha: fists only, noted.

Kate: I didn’t agree to this.

Yelena, leaning in to whisper: do not let me down, little hawk.

[i-au-a-q]

Hydra!Nat

Clint: Wait, so you were Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Natasha: I like to keep my options open.

Clint: So, you’re just… double agenting for fun?

Natasha: *shrugs* Gotta stay busy.

[auroraromaximoff]

Clint: Everyone is always like; “How’d you get with Natasha?” “How’d you bag Natasha?” Bro I didn’t bag shit. Natasha picked me up, by my neck, threw me over her shoulder, and I’ve been on it ever since. And I don’t have any plans on getting off anytime soon.

Nat: *Winks*

[reginaphalangelobster]

Good point!

Texts From Superheroes

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[floilee]

(Yelena arrives from a mission)

Kate: Oh no, you're giving him back.

Yelena: But Kate Bishop, he's so cute.

Kate: You didn't let me come home with the turtles we saved in South America.

Yelena: Because you thought they'd learn karate and live in the sewer after 18.

Kate: And what's the difference?

Yelena: The difference is that this little fellow here was being cruelly victimized by chemical experiments.

Kate:

Yelena: And I blew up the laboratory floor.

*Kate picks up her cell phone.*

Yelena: What are you doing?

Kate: Researching guinea pig cages with slides.

[1luna1lovegood1]

steve, checking on shuri and peter before a fight: are you ready, kids?

shuri & peter: aye aye captain!

clint: i cant hear you

shuri & peter: AYE AYE CAPTAIN

steve, looking up: did You keep me alive a hundred years for this

clint: but i really cant hear you

clint: i forgot where i left my hearing aids

[i-a-q]

Clint: So, uh, anyone wanna talk about what just happened?

Sam: Nope. Absolutely not.

Peter: Can we all agree to never speak of it again?

Tony: *wiping his brow* I’m with the kid.

[societyfolklore]

Natasha: I work alone. Clint: *behind her* No, you don’t. Natasha: *sighs* Unfortunately, no.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Steve: All right. Start with a hundred push-ups!

Clint: All right, cool. How many do you want me to do?

Steve: A hundred.

Clint: Oh, I thought that was a figure of speech, "A hundred push-ups." Like, "do a bazillion push-ups." No one can do a hundred.